Fateful Attraction
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: Cartman used a love potion to make Heidi fall in love with him. What could go wrong? For Dragon Slaer


Turner residence.

Heidi and her boyfriend Kyle were watching TV together.

_Announcer: Next time on Watchmen...Christ, is anyone even talking about our show?_

Heidi snuggles up to Kyle and kisses him on the cheek.

Kyle: Is there anything else you wanna watch?

Heidi: I have DC Universe. We can watch Harley Quinn.

Kyle: Cool. I heard it's been getting good reviews.

Heidi: I've watched a few episodes. Kaley Cuoco is hilarious as Harley Quinn.

Suddenly the sound of somebody playing guitar was heard.

Heidi: Oh no, not again.

Kyle: What?

Heidi opens the curtain to see Cartman with a mic and Butters playing guitar.

Cartman (Singing): Heidi. Please take me back. I wanna change and I want us to be...(Cartman stops singing) Damn. The song was way better in my head.

Heidi opens the window.

Heidi: Eric, for the last time no! I am not getting back together with you. Even if you invent a monkey that flies.

Cartman: What will it take for you to get back together with me?!

Heidi: Nothing Eric. Now if you excuse me, me and Kyle are gonna watch Harley Quinn.

Cartman: That show is lame. It proves why women shouldn't do comedy. Right Butters?

Butters: Actually I think the show's actually funny.

Cartman glares at Butters.

Cartman grabs the guitar out of Butters' hand and smashes it onto the ground.

Butters: You do realise that's my Dad's?

Cartman: I don't care Butters.

Butters: He's gonna ground me if it's been destroyed.

Heidi: Goddammit when will he get it into that fat head of his.

Heidi closes the window.

The next day.

South Park elementary.

Heidi was hanging out with Theresa and Annie, laughing.

Annie: I know so funny right?

Heidi: I especially love the part where-

Suddenly Ride of The Valkyries was heard playing in the background.

Heidi: Where is that music coming from?

Scott Malkinson approached the girls.

Scott: Cartman says look up.

Heidi: What?

Scott: He just told me to tell you, to look up.

Heidi looks up and notices a plane with a banner at the end of the tail saying "Take me back Heidi Turner. I really wanna change. Don't ask how much of my Mom's cash I blew on this. But it was quite a lot. Love from the love of your life and the skinniest guy on the planet, Eric Cartman".

Heidi: You have got to be kidding me.

Cartman approaches the group.

Cartman: So Heidi, what do you say?

Heidi grabs Cartman by the shoulders slowly and than suddenly kicks him in the balls.

Cartman: Ow! That hurts.

Theresa: This is never gonna end right?

Heidi: Probably not

Montage starts

Girls basketball.

The girls were playing basketball.

Wendy dribbled the ball and passed the rival players and threw the ball into the net.

In the audience, Stan holds up a sign that said "Go Wendy, go".

Butters held up a sign that said "Kick their fucking asses Nelly".

Whilst Cartman held a sign that said "Take me back Heidi".

Heidi notices this and pinches the bridge of her nose.

Suddenly the basketball hits Heidi.

Turner residence.

Heidi was reading a book until she smelt burning.

She looked outside her window and notices her driveway on fire and it was in the shape of her name.

Heidi sighed.

Later.

Heidi got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her. Than she saw a message written in condensation on the mirror. The message read "You are my world. Take me back"

Heidi looked around to see if Cartman was in the room.

Later in the living room.

Heidi was flicking through the channels until she cuts to a news report.

_Midget In A Bikini: So tell me Mr Goo Man, what do you have to say to the people who don't want to buy your products?_

_Goo Man: Well I say-_

Suddenly Cartman grabs the mic.

_Cartman: Heidi, please take me back!_

Heidi changes channel.

Montage ends.

Cartman was sitting on the park bench looking depressed.

Cartman: How can I win her back? I tried that picture of Kyle kissing Bebe and that didn't work.

**(A/N: I guess you saw that coming for those who have been keeping up with my stories).**

Clyde approaches Cartman.

Clyde: You still bummed about Heidi?

Cartman: No I'm bummed out because Watchmen wasn't as good as Rotten Tomatoes made it out to be.

Clyde: Yeah. Same here.

Cartman: Of course I'm fucking upset about Heidi!

Clyde: Jesus. When will you get over it?

Cartman: I will never get over it!

Clyde: It has been like a million years since Heidi dumped you. Get over it man.

Cartman: I can't Clyde! I just can't!

Clyde: I don't know what to suggest dude. Maybe you could try and find a love potion.

Cartman: Love potion?

Clyde: Yes.

Cartman: Clyde, thank you.

Clyde: What?

Cartman: I'm gonna take your advice, I'm gonna find a love potion!

Cartman ran away.

Clyde: Dude! I was being sarcastic!

Mephesto's laboratory.

Cartman knocks on the door.

Mephesto answered.

Mephesto: Why, it's little Eric Cartman. Please come in.

Cartman entered.

Mephesto: So, what can I do for you?

Cartman: Mephesto do you know how to make potions?

Mephesto: I'm a scientist not a wizard. And most importantly I'm not a big fan of witchcraft and wizardry.

Cartman: Aww! Come on! I just need something that will make Heidi fall in love with me.

Mephesto: Well, I do have something that could help you to get the girl.

Cartman: You do?

Mephesto: Follow me.

Cartman follows Mephesto to a room of flasks filled with liquid that were stacked on rows of shelves.

Cartman: So you do make potions?

Mephesto: Potions sounds too fantasy-ish. I just call them magic juices.

Cartman: How about liquid substances? Do you call them that?

Mephesto: No that doesn't sound scientific at all.

Mephesto hands Cartman a flask with pink liquid.

Mephesto: This is the love juice.

Cartman: Aww sweet.

Mephesto: Now remember, in order for the girl to fall in love with you, you need to mix a tiny bit of the juice into something she can drink along with your DNA. Like your saliva for example.

Cartman: Don't worry Dr Mephesto, I got it memorised.

Mephesto: Good, now where's the 50 dollars?

Cartman: What?

Mephesto: You have 50 dollars right?

Cartman: Why yes. I do.

Cartman hands Mephesto the dollar note.

Mephesto: Now be warned little Eric, this juice-

Cartman: Will get my life back on track, thank you.

Cartman leaves the lab.

Mephesto: Well nobody listens to me anyway.

Mephesto inspects the dollar bill further.

Mephesto: Wait, this is a fake.

Later.

Turner residence.

Heidi was making herself a milkshake in the kitchen.

Nichole (Off-Screen): Hey Heidi, check out this latest tweet from Kanye West. You have to see it to believe it.

Heidi: Coming.

Heidi goes to see what the commotion is all about.

Cartman sneaks into the house through the open window.

Cartman pours a tiny bit of the liquid into the milkshake and than drooled into the milkshake.

Cartman: Soon Heidi soon.

Cartman sneaks out of the window again.

Suddenly the sound of a dog's barking is heard.

Cartman (Off-Screen): Oh shit! I forgot Heidi has a new dog.

The sound of Cartman's screams are heard.

Heidi comes back into the kitchen and grabs her milkshake.

Down in the basement.

The girls were laughing since they were watching Harley Quinn on Heidi's laptop.

Nelly: This show is awesome.

Annie: Hell ya.

Heidi turns off her laptop.

Heidi: Now who wants to play marry, fuck, kill?

Nichole: Heidi, aren't we a little young for that?

Heidi: Who says that we are?

Nichole: Fair point.

Sophie: Marry, fuck, kill. Sounds like fun.

Wendy: I do find it kind of odd that Heidi would wanna play that game. Sounds like something Cartman would play.

Bebe: Wait Cartman plays marry, fuck, kill?

Heidi: Enough chit chat girls. Let's start. Nelly.

Nelly: Ok. Marry Butters, fuck Kenny, kill Cartman.

Heidi: Alright. Not a bad decision. Wendy.

Wendy: You might as well skip me, it's gonna be obvious.

Heidi: Go on Wendy!

Nelly: Yeah go on girl.

Bebe: Go on Wendy.

Wendy: Alright. Marry Stan, fuck Token, sorry Nichole.

Nichole: It's ok.

Wendy: And obviously kill Cartman.

Heidi: Ok. How about you Sophie?

Sophie: Um...I don't know.

Wendy: We see you hanging around with Scott Malkinson a lot.

Sophie: Oh girls. We're just friends for the moment.

Girls: Oooooooooooo.

Bebe: She said "For the moment".

Sophie: Can I just say "Kill Cartman" and move on?

Heidi: Um sure. Wow everybody wants to kill Cartman. Alright me, marry Cartman, fuck Clyde and kill Kyle.

The girls sat in shock.

But Bebe breaks the silence by laughing.

Bebe: That's a funny joke Heidi. Seriously though who would you marry, fuck, kill?

Heidi: I just told you. I wanna marry Cartman.

The girls stare at Heidi with shock.

Nichole also does a nervous laugh.

Nichole: Alright Heidi. This is very funny.

Heidi: Ok, I guess I'm not making myself clear. If I was being funny would I keep a straight face?

Wendy: Well if you want us to have the right reaction than yeah.

Heidi: Point is I am serious. I love Eric Cartman and Kyle Broflovski can go suck his fat Jewish mother's tits.

The girls all stare at Heidi with shock.

Isla: I think I'm tired.

Nichole: Same.

All the girls start agreeing.

Heidi: Oh ok girls.

Heidi gets into her sleeping bag and starts to fall asleep.

Heidi (Talking in her sleep): Oh Cartman. Oh Cartman. Yeah that's the spot baby.

All the other girls couldn't sleep.

Wendy (Whispering): This is super uncomfortable.

South Park elementary.

Kyle was walking down the hall with a box of heart shaped chocolates in his hand.

Kyle approached Bebe and Red.

Kyle: Hey, have you seen Heidi?

Red: Kyle, there's something you need to know.

Kyle: What?

Red: Heidi breaks up.

Kyle: What?

Red: Heidi breaks up with you.

Kyle: What did I do wrong?

Bebe: She's sexually attracted to Cartman again.

Kyle: Are you kidding me?

The girls take Kyle to Heidi.

Heidi was making out with Cartman by the locker.

Heidi: Oh Eric, I want you.

Cartman: I know.

They continue to make out.

Kyle: You have to be shitting me.

Cartman and Heidi stop making out.

Cartman: Oh hey Khal.

Kyle: Why is Heidi making out with you?

Heidi: Because I love Eric that's why.

Kyle: But you said you'll never get back together with Cartman in a thousand years.

Cartman: Well maybe she changed her mind.

Heidi: Come on Eric, lets make out in the janitor's closet.

Cartman: Ok babe.

Cartman and Heidi walk away.

Bebe: So, you planning to go back to goth?

Kyle: Bebe something's wrong. Cartman must've done something to her and I'm gonna find out what. Come on.

Bebe: We can't.

Kyle: Why not?

Bebe: Because class is starting.

Kyle: Oh.

Later.

Another montage starts.

Cartman and Heidi were exiting the school holding hands whilst Tweek and Craig looked on in confusion and disgust.

Cartman and Heidi are walking around Starks Pond holding hands whilst Stan and Wendy were sitting on a bench nearby looking on in confusion.

Cartman and Heidi were at Tweek's coffee having some coffee.

Butters and Nelly saw what was happening and both spat out the coffee they had in their mouths.

Cartman and Heidi are eating at the Buca De Faggoncini.

Token and Nichole notice them and are disgusted about it.

Later Cartman and Heidi are seeing the new Star Wars and are making out during the movie.

Scott and Sophie are watching the movie as well.

They stare at each other, but Scott notices Cartman and Heidi making out and gets shocked.

Sophie notices this as well and looks on in confusion.

Cartman and Heidi are staring at the sunset and kiss each other on the lips.

Whilst Mephesto watched on.

Mephesto: Things are gonna get bad. Why doesn't anyone listen to me?

Turner residence.

Kyle knocks on the door.

Mr Turner answers.

Mr Turner: Kyle?

Kyle: Hey Mr Turner.

Mr Turner: If you're here for Heidi she's-

Kyle: She's out with Cartman.

Mr Turner: What?!

Kyle: I know. I'm trying to find out what made her fall in love with-

But Mr Turner was gone.

Kyle: I guess I'm boring.

Mrs Turner approaches Kyle.

Mrs Turner: Oh hi Kyle.

Kyle: Hey Mrs Turner.

Mrs Turner: Have you come to pick up your flask?

Kyle: Flask?

Mrs Turner: Yeah. I found this flask with pink liquid on the kitchen table and I just assumed it was yours.

Kyle went into the kitchen and started to investigate the flask.

Kyle: What is this stuff?

Kyle notices that the flask had the symbol of "M".

Kyle: Mephesto.

Meanwhile.

Mr Turner was in his car looking for Heidi.

Mr Turner than spots Heidi and Cartman throwing eggs at the White's house.

Mr White: Stop it. You do realise my son is dead right? If your child died and we threw eggs at your house how would you feel?

Heidi: Shut the fuck up Mr White!

Mr Turner: Heidi Turner!

Cartman: Oh shit!

Heidi: Hey Daddy.

Mr White: Oh good you're here to stop your da-

Suddenly an egg hits Mr White.

Mr Turner: Can you shut up for one minute?!

Mr White: Fine, since no one cares what I have to say.

Mr Turner: Heidi Turner! I am taking you home!

Mr Turner grabs Heidi's hand.

Heidi: Daddy that's not fair!

Cartman: Heidi, your Dad does seem kind of pissed.

Mr Turner: Damn right I'm pissed!

Heidi: Daddy, I want you to let go of me.

Mr Turner: Heidi, I'm taking you home!

Heidi: Never!

Heidi punches her Dad in the balls.

Mr Turner: Ow!

Heidi grabs a box of eggs and starts to throw eggs at her Dad.

Mr Turner: Heidi Turner, you are grounded when you get home!

Heidi: I don't care!

Heidi and Cartman start walking down the street.

Mr Turner stares on in shock.

Mr White: That was amusing. Do you want me to call 911? Because I won't call them since no one cares what I want.

Mephesto's laboratory.

Kyle knocks on the door in a fit of rage.

Mephesto answers.

Mephesto: Kyle Broflovski, what brings you here?

Kyle: You gave fat ass this.

Kyle shows Mephesto the flask.

Mephesto: The love juice.

Kyle: Yeah?

Mephesto: Eric Cartman wanted this so he can get some girl. It's some boy meets girl, boy breaks up with girl, girl breaks up with boy, girl meets another boy, girl breaks up with other boy, girl breaks up with boy, girl starts dating other boy, boy wants magic juice so he can get girl scenario.

Kyle: Is there a cure?

Mephesto: Actually I invented a cure three weeks earlier.

Mephesto motions Kyle to come in.

Mephesto leads Kyle into the juice room.

Mephesto: I invented it after seeing the results of the test.

Kyle: Test?

Mephesto leads Kyle to a room filled with monkeys.

Mephesto: I tested the potion on a couple of four assed monkeys. I did this by placing a drop of the potion into something that's drinkable and than I added another monkeys DNA to the mix and the result was pretty catastrophic. The monkey couldn't leave the other monkey alone and the other monkey couldn't take it and so I decided to put them in separate enclosures. And than that's when I invented the cure.

Mephesto hands Kyle a flask with dark green liquid.

Mephesto: The instructions are simple. Add a drop to something that is drinkable.

Kyle: Wait, I think I have a better idea.

Mephesto: What is it?

The next day.

Cartman and Heidi were walking out of school together.

Heidi: And than we can go to the library and than play pranks on Stan and Wendy and-

Cartman: Heidi, I'm going over to Butters' house to play video games.

Heidi: Oh. Can I come?

Cartman: Sorry Heidi, it's a guys thing.

Heidi: Oh.

Cartman: I'll see you later.

Cartman kisses Heidi on the cheek.

Stotch residence.

Cartman and Butters were playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare on co-op.

Butters: I got you Eric.

Cartman: Not for long.

Butters: Aww son of a biscuit.

Suddenly there was a knock on the window.

And it was Heidi who was knocking.

Heidi: Eric, I love you.

Heidi lifts up her top and she presses her boobs on the window.

Cartman: Whoah Heidi!

Butters: Heidi, get your boobies off my window.

Heidi: They're for my big teddy bear.

Cartman: Please Butters let her.

Butters gets up and closes the curtain.

Cartman: Aww Butters!

Butters: If my Dad finds out a girl has been pressing her boobies all over the window, I'm gonna get grounded.

Cartman: Of course you are.

Meanwhile at Raisins.

Kyle was out with Kenny, Clyde and Jimmy.

Kyle: There was seriously no need to invite me guys.

Kenny: Come on dude. You're single again. We had to make you come.

Jimmy: But wa-wa-wait Kenny, don't you h-h-have a girlfriend?

Kenny: She doesn't really care if I go to Raisins to be honest.

Jimmy: So K-K-Kyle how's single life?

Kyle: It isn't as good as being in a relationship, but it still is good.

Clyde: So what are you gonna do about Heidi dating Cartman now?

Jimmy: Y-yeah. I don't want her to become a f-f-f-fa-fa-chubby bitch again.

Kyle: I'm gonna do nothing.

Kenny: What?!

Clyde: But last time you were all about splitting them two up.

Kyle: I know, but it's not worth it anymore.

Kenny: Why though?

Kyle: It just isn't guys, come on!

Clyde: Ok Kyle. But we won't come crying to you if it happens.

Kyle: But he might.

Kenny: What does that mean?

Kyle: Nothing.

Cartman residence.

Cartman was gonna have a shower.

Cartman turns on the shower and he was very relieved to have a warm shower.

Cartman (Singing): Shower. I'm having a shower. It is hot and I love it.

But while Cartman was showering somebody walked into the bathroom and pulled the shower curtain.

Cartman saw who it was and screamed.

The shadowy figure jumped onto Cartman and started kissing him all over.

Cartman: Heidi stop it! Stop it! Stop It!

Heidi gets out of the shower.

Cartman pulls the shower curtain in an attempt to lift himself up, but he pulls the shower curtain off.

Cartman lies on the floor looking dead.

Cartman: That was awesome.

Testaburger residence.

Wendy's room.

Wendy: Thanks for coming girls.

Wendy was talking to Bebe, Red, Sophie, Annie, Nelly, Theresa, Isla and Lola.

Bebe: You're welcome Wendy.

Wendy: We need to discuss what's wrong with Heidi.

Isla: She's in love with Cartman again.

Wendy: Yes obviously that.

Annie: What are we gonna do about it?

Sophie: Maybe we could force Heidi to break up with him.

Theresa: Sophie since you're new I'll catch you up.

French Narrator: Seven minutes later.

Theresa: And that's what happened.

Sophie: Wow. Nelly that is like really, really stupid.

Nelly: I was angry and a little stupid at that point in time.

Wendy: Girls, can we just stay on topic?

Bebe: Sorry Wendy.

Red: Should we mock Heidi for dating Cartman again?

Wendy: That didn't do well, remember?

Red: Oh right.

Wendy: You know what let's forget it. Heidi's gone. Cartman's got her.

Lola: We'll be prepared for another Cartman.

The girls frown.

Bebe: So Sophie, you and Scott.

Sophie: Oh Jesus. We're just friends.

Theresa: Come on, we know there's something between you two.

Sophie: Girls, please. Scott may be nice, a little cute, a good guy to talk to and-

Bebe: Diabetic.

Sophie: Yes and so am I. And me and Scott have a lot in common.

Bebe: There's definitely something between you two.

Sophie: No there isn't!

Cartman residence.

Cartman woke up.

Cartman: Ahh. Saturday.

Cartman turns to his side and sees Heidi at the side of his bed.

Cartman screamed and fell off the bed.

Heidi: Babe, are you ok?

Heidi helps Cartman up.

Cartman: Were you watching me sleep?

Heidi: Maybe.

Cartman: Ok that's not creepy at all.

Heidi: I know. I got your clothes out for today and also I made you breakfast two hours ago.

Cartman: You know what, I'm not hungry.

Heidi: No, no, no Eric. I insist you eat what I made you.

Cartman: No Heidi, I'm really not hungry.

Heidi: Um ok.

Cartman: Heidi, can you please exit my room so I can get changed?

Heidi: Ok babe.

Heidi leaves the room.

Cartman gets changed very quickly.

Cartman: It doesn't matter as long as it doesn't continue.

Montage starts.

Arcade.

Cartman was playing Pac Man but when he ran out of quarters, Heidi gave him another quarter.

Monday.

South Park elementary.

Cartman was in the bathroom taking a shit, but Heidi was watching Cartman from the next stall.

Cartman notices Heidi looking down on him and screams.

Cartman runs out of the bathroom.

The Bijou Theatre.

Cartman was watching Jumanji: The Next Level on his own.

But he notices Heidi watching him and Cartman sighs.

Montage ends.

Testaburger residence.

Wendy was watching TV until she heard knocking at the door.

Deborah (Off-Screen): Wendy, could you get the door please?

Wendy: Ok.

Wendy walked up to the door and answered it and Cartman was standing there.

Cartman: Windy you gotta help me.

Wendy: With what?

Cartman: It's Heidi, she's gone too crazy for me.

Wendy: Why do you want my help?

Cartman: I just need you to hide me until she stops going crazy for me and goes back to being crazy for Khal.

Wendy: Why did Heidi get back together with you?

Cartman sighed.

Cartman: I bought a love juice from Dr Mephesto to use on Heidi because I was sick of her being together with Khal and it kind of backfired. She can't leave me alone. She pressed her tits on Butters' window, she jumped on me in the shower, she follows me and she watches me sleep.

Wendy punches Cartman.

Wendy: You son of a bitch. I knew you might've had something to do with this.

Cartman: Windy you have to hide me.

Wendy: Why?

Cartman: Because this would be the last place Heidi would look for me.

Wendy: Fuck...you. Get out.

Cartman exists the house.

Cartman: Fuck you Windy!

Heidi suddenly jumped out of some bushes.

Heidi: Eric!

Cartman started running.

Broflovski residence.

Kyle was watching TV with Ike.

Knocking was heard.

Kyle answered the door and Cartman was standing right in front of Kyle.

Kyle: What do you want fat ass?

Cartman: Khal, I need your help.

Kyle: With what?

Cartman: Khal, there's something I need to confess.

Kyle: What is it?

Cartman: I bought a love juice from Mephesto. I used it on Heidi and now she can't leave me alone.

Kyle: So you want it to stop?

Cartman: Yes. I do.

Kyle: Could you say it again?

Cartman: I want it to stop.

Kyle: One more time.

Cartman: What's the matter Khal? Are you deaf? I want it to stop.

Suddenly a dinging sound was heard and Kyle smiled.

Ike: Kyle, the popcorn is ready.

Kyle: I know Ike, hold on. Well maybe you could ask Mephesto for a cure.

Cartman: No Khal that's-Wait a cure? Of course there could be a cure.

Suddenly Heidi shows up outside the house.

Heidi: Eric! How do you like these raisins?

Heidi lifts up her top and starts to press her boobs against the window again.

Cartman: Dammit! How the fuck is she finding me?

Kyle runs to Ike and covers his eyes.

Ike: What?

Mephesto's laboratory.

Cartman knocks on the door.

Mephesto answers.

Mephesto: What is it?

Cartman: Do you have the cure?

Mephesto: Oh my God yes I do!

Mephesto runs into his magic juices room and grabs a flask with black liquid.

Mephesto: This magic juice is gonna change humanity forever.

Cartman: Is this a cure to the love juice?

Mephesto: No this is a cure to terminal cancer.

Cartman: Oh. So it's worthless.

Mephesto: Yes pretty much.

Cartman throws the flask away and causes it to smash.

Mephesto: Five years trying to develop it and I didn't realise how useless it was until now.

Mephesto hands Cartman the flask with the cure.

Mephesto: I only invented this three weeks ago just to use on my four assed monkeys. This cure can work unless you mix it in with something that is drinkable.

Cartman: Ok. Thank you Mephesto.

Mephesto: My pleasure.

Cartman leaves.

Mephesto: Wait you forgot to give me 400 bucks for it.

Later that night.

Heidi was looking for Cartman.

Heidi: Eric? Eric? Eric? Where are you?

Cartman: I'm here Heidi.

Cartman was standing by the basketball court wearing a fancy suit. He also managed to set up a table with two chairs on both sides. On the table were two glasses of coke.

Heidi: Eric, you did this?

Cartman: Yes. Have a seat Heidi.

Cartman sat down and gestured Heidi to sit down as well.

Heidi sat down.

Heidi: So this is how you apologise for disappearing a lot?

Cartman: Of course Heidi.

Heidi: Aww Eric. That's sweet.

Cartman: Yeah. Now can you have a drink of that lovely glass of coke?

Heidi raised her glass.

Heidi: Shall we toast?

Cartman: Ok.

Cartman raised his glass as well.

Heidi: To us.

Cartman: To us.

They clinked their glasses.

Heidi: Anyway, after this fancy dinner how about I give you a blow job?

Cartman: Oh yeah sure that sounds-Wait what?!

Heidi: It will be special.

Heidi takes a sip out of the coke.

Cartman: Heidi no!

Heidi: What?

Heidi suddenly stars to look dizzy.

Heidi: I feel...I feel...Where am I? Oh my God! Eric?!

Cartman: No. You were supposed to give a blow job!

Heidi: What?! You dirty fucking bastard!

Heidi throws the coke into Cartman's face.

Heidi leaves.

Cartman: Goddammit.

The next day.

Heidi was waking down the hallway holding hands with Kyle.

Heidi: So Eric used some kind of love potion on me?

Kyle: Yeah.

Heidi: The fat son of a bitch. And what did you do when you were single for a while?

Kyle: Nothing really. I didn't go back to being goth.

Heidi: You just played video games and that?

Kyle: Of course I did babe. I knew there was something wrong.

Cartman cringed as he watched Kyle and Heidi together.

Clyde: So my sarcastic advice didn't go well?

Cartman: Not at all. I should really thank Khal though for giving me the suggestion to find the cure.

Clyde: Yeah. Although a few days before you and Heidi broke up, he told me he was going to Mephesto's to talk to Mephesto about you and Heidi. And than he walked out. I guess he didn't make the cure yet.

Cartman: Yeah I guess. Wait a minute, Mephesto told me he made the cure three weeks ago and I told Khal about the love potion which gave him the idea to suggest to me-Holy shit.

Cartman stared off into the distance as he started thinking.

Cartman: He knew that effect was gonna happen. He was just waiting for me to puss out and get the cure instead of using it on Heidi.

Cartman stares off into the distance as Clyde was humming the shower theme from Psycho.

Cartman notices this.

Clyde: Sorry.


End file.
